SUCCESS

SUCCESS

By Frances Harris

 

Added to the influences of early childhood, the true quest for identity and success, in a hefty slice of humanity seems to begin when one boy first notices a girl, or a girl notices a boy. Immediately the calculations and questions begin to mount up in their heads - Am I worth enough? Am I good enough to make it with that person? Is my family likely to meet with their approval? Do we have enough in common? How do I need to compensate to change my present circumstances? Springing from the answers to these questions, determines much of the course of the rest of their lives. We start by settling on the common driving forces innate in most humans and these among many are; food, sex, comfort and approval. It should be a pretty simple formula for success really, unless we decide to take a closer look.

On the opposite side of the coin, there is the highly motivated, driven set who slice through and dispose of apparently wonderful relationships and situations to reach an unattainable destination somewhere out there in the stratosphere. The theory - it’s better to have a short and happy life than a long and miserable one, is silently on the radar. Some of these are the people who drop dead at the office, or the body gives out unexpectedly, sometimes much earlier than most. They strive to be forever young and nearing the end of the journey, are unable to recognise their loss of youthful looks and stamina, leading at times to some very mismatched, indulgent relationships to the point they too could be working against their own interests. Right here, the name ‘Silvio Belersconi,’ comes to mind. Those that are lucky enough to survive, leave plenty of time for regret.

So why, with all this intense analysis by the brain of the smartest creatures on the planet do we have so many differences. There are nerds, geeks, skinny little bald guys who always get the girls, gothics, bodgies, bogans, widgies, punks, rockers, and stunningly natural beautiful women who are happy to wear cut-off jeans, unaware of their looks and like to study turtles in a muddy pond? Then, on the perimeters of the struggle, there is a bunch of grumpy commentators who unhappily observe life from the outside looking in. 

Putting all of this aside; so who are the people that have settled their identity questions early in life and go on to enjoy long happy productive lives, without missing a beat? Well there is no better place to find them than recorded in small local newspapers. We find them tucked away in comfortable, mostly suburban homes, with a harmonious loving family who have taken up the same formulas of their loving parents to produce happy families of their own. These people had learned early in life that it is not necessary to push and shove others out of the way to succeed. They are of constant, mid-weight, eat healthy, exercise moderately, forgive easily and laugh often. They are quietly seen in the local newspapers holding hands and celebrating their eightieth year of a happy a marriage. They are rarely mentioned in the mainstream press.

So success begins with the sharpness of the eye of the beholder, and made from decisions ignited early in the impressionable years. They choose their behaviour. They are the ones you’ll often find on the Queen’s honour list for centenarians.